Little Saint Nick

And who sang "Little Saint Nick", eh?

Okay, help has arrived. The teenager has a very good reason to be grumpy but is making an effort - not always succeeding, but I'll appreciate the effort nonetheless. And there's cinnamon rolls and mimosas to look forward to tomorrow morning. Oh, and presents.

But tonight, an angelic face with pink cheeks and big blue eyes is bathed in the soft, ambient glow of the Christmas tree lights. It's usually most angelic right before he kicks the dog. But that's another story.

Mrs. Claus has determinedly provided Santa with some very well thought out stocking stuffers - chocolate usually helps, from what I'm told. The official playing of "The Grinch" has taken place with a resounding chorus of "Stink. Stank. Stunk." to get us all giggling. Mommy has sampled the Korbel a tad bit early - woo hoo.

Tonight I'll make my annual Christmas wish. This year, it's simple. May all those blessed with loved ones bask in the warmth and glow of their smiles. May all those without loved ones know that the world has not forgotten them.

May your days be merry and bright.
And may all your Christmases be white.

Merry Christmas, y'all -
The Warbler

Blue Christmas

It's two days before Christmas.

My husband is MIA. Although, he says he's on the way here as we speak.

My teen-ager has been picking fights all day and refuses to say why.

The fourteen month old should NEVER have two chocolate chip cookies at one snack time unless the mommy has abundant energy.

Yeah, this is a festive household.

Just My Imagination

I was going to write a little tirade on my problems with authority and my heartfelt justifications when I popped in a Temptations CD. Suddenly a feeling of amusement, silliness and a broad grin flooded over me. First, the not quite wah-wah guitar with the triplets leading into the bass' parallel, somewhat inverse to "My Girl" line: doom, dedoodedoo doom....then the muted rim shot every two and four...unh, chick, unh, chick. "Each day from my window I watch her as she passes by..."

I have wonderful memories of this song, too. (What song don't I?) A houseful of friends, a kick ass stereo system (not mine, dagnabbit), veggie chili simmering, too many cigarettes, too early to drink, the Temptations and an impromptu stylistic back-up routine. We could dance, we three. It was a wonderful time before judgements became clouded, loyalties became divided, and friendships were destroyed for the wrong reasons.

"Every night on my knees I pray
Dear Lord, hear my plea
Don't ever let another take her love away or I will
surely die"

This song also reminds me of my first serious relationship. You know the one: where you're young, full of hope, madly in love and a clueless idiot? The first time you ever fell in love - how deliciously tortuous was that? We bared our souls, our hopes and dreams, our bad poetry. It never occurred to "us" (I speak for the general masses, not the specific few who outclassed us)to worry about the details. And the details are what become so important after the first headiness is over, aren't they? She likes her bed made in the morning cuz she has a thing about tidy, centered sheets. He likes the toothpaste squeezed from the bottom so he's always aware of volume. She wants her family over all the time. He doesn't.

"...but in reality, she doesn't even know me.
Just my imagination
runnin' away with me..."

I have always lived in my head a great deal. In times of great stress or great loneliness it becomes an important coping mechanism. It beats nicotine, booze or pot any day. It does not beat chocolate, back rubs or sex. I'm just sayin'. We all have had our imaginations run away with us. Some more than others, I'm shame-faced to admit. What do you think a Powerball ticket is, after all?

I think I'm gonna play that song again as soon as the baby wakes up and see if I can remember where all those snaps, spins and step-togethers go.

Why don't you join me? Find an old favorite of yours that you haven't listened to in years, crank it up, close your eyes and let your imagination run away with you.

I'll Be Home For Christmas

...if only in my dreams.

If you look very closely at the Harried Christmas picture, you can see the almost finished living room primer. Maybe I'll have the living room walls painted by summer - just in time for them to get ripped out while I go visit the mid-west.

Last night I finally finished the first coat of cobalt blue paint on the upper half of the "master" bath (the lower half's beadboard) - that only took me four months. I'm pickin' up speed now.

I've only sent out seven Christmas cards, I can't find my Betty Crocker with all the favorite cookie recipes (and the special hand-written ones loose in the front), I ran out of wrapping paper (no, really, I thought I had enough), and my husband's present is just two rows away from being finished and I can't seem to find the time. But today my son shared a toy at the library - I got the spirit of Christmas, baby. I am stressed, angry, lonely, homesick, realllllly lonely and all I can think about right now is how blessed I am to have two beautiful, challenging children who think I'm amazing. My car runs, my coat's warm, my back's still strong and I'm still standing and still trying. Oh, how very trying I am.

I hope each and every one of you are filled with that very special, very personal Christmas spirit that can overwhelm you in just a moment by its beautiful simplicity.

God Bless Us, Every One.

And the Beat Goes On

Five people have been in contact with me about the historical references to the 12 Days song I mentioned in my parody blog. My aunt's been following along and sent me this web site. I thought I'd share it because of the very interesting discussions it has sprung.


Summary of eRumor:
This email says that the popular Christmas song "The 12 Days of Christmas" was actually written as a memory device for Christians to remember and recite doctrine. It says that beginning in the 1500's, Catholics in England were not allowed to practice their faith openly, so "The Twelve Days of Christmas" became a secret catechism. Several suggestions are listed as to what doctrines the verses actually represented.


The Truth:
TruthOrFiction.com has not found any Catholic or non-Catholic historical or scholarly reference that supports this allegation. None of the hundreds of emails or citations of this story on the net that we've seen includes any credible source. Most have no source at all, but those that do most often cite an article published on the Catholic Information Network in 1995. It was authored by Fr. Hal Stockert of Fishnetsite and appears to be the spark of the eRumor.

On the other hand, there are several sources that list the song as being of probable French origin. The most notable is the prestigious New Oxford Book of Carols which not only cites the French roots of the song, but says it is based on a game that children would play on the Twelfth Night, the eve of Epiphany. In the game, each child would have to try to remember and recite the objects that were said by a previous child. If successful, the child would add another object to the list for the next contestant to recite. If not, the child dropped out. The game would continue until there was a winner.

There are also other problems with the catechism theory. The assumption behind it is that the song allowed Catholics to secretly embrace their beliefs behind the backs of non-Catholic Christian leaders during a time when being a practicing Catholic was against the law, for example under Anglican rule. None of the doctrines said to be represented in the Twelve Days of Christmas, however, was different from the beliefs of Anglicans or even Presbyterians. There is also the question that if the song was that important for teaching or remembering doctrine, why was it associated only with Christmas? One final note is that the first printed version of the song is said to be in the children's book "Mirth Without Mischief" published in 1780 and that describes the song in similar terms as the Oxford Book of Carols.

The Night Before Christmas

My daughter and I purchased a book and CD called 'Christmas Carol Car-i-oke". It's, obviously, a karaoke CD meant to be used for travelling to Grandma's house and so forth. Lots of lovely hymns and traditional carols set to some updated (and sometimes unsettling) orchestrations. All in all - good fun. My daughter put it in the computer the other night when toddler was having a full meltdown during dinner and I, for once, relaxed the no-singing-at-the-table rule (can you believe I would have that one?) and we sang our way through "Jingle Bells", "O Little Town of Bethlehem", "We Wish You a Merry Christmas", "Joy to the World", "Angels We Have Heard on High"...well, you get the picture. Toddler boy just sat and listened, wide-eyed, as he clutched and crunched his special toddler animal cracker. Until "Go, Tell It On The Mountain" with a truly gospel arrangement started and Momma got a little wild and started wailing to the music. You and I would have laughed and shouted "Testify, sista", but the baby started to cry. Well, if that doesn't make you feel small. He was really enjoying it until then. We tried to finish the rest of the CD this evening, but the keys keep getting higher and higher and there aren't a lot of people who can sing up there during "O Holy Night" and "The Hallelujah Chorus" - we really could have used my cousin and her family (think Von Trapps) at that particular moment. Actually, I sounded pretty darned good on O Holy Night, but it wasn't very sing-along-ish.

I can see it now...it will be the night before Christmas
And all through the house
The damn cats are rambunctious
And they're waking my spouse

The stockings were hung
Not by the chimney but the hall
In case that their weight
Might pull down a wall.

The children don't sleep
Why put them to bed
They eat so much sugar
there's no teeth in their heads;

And Momma's so frazzled
so tired and wistful
She's guzzling down Pinot
and Shiraz by the fistful

When out on the lawn
there arose such a clatter
Apparently a moose got
caught up in the ladder.

I went to the window
but got caught in a draft
when I realized the shutters
were nailed to the sash.

The moon on the breast
of four more feet of snow
Made me long for the Islands
where coconuts grow.

When, what to my wondering eyes did appear
But a big honkin' sleigh
with creatures - oh dear!

With a cute, geeky guy who was
driving so quick
I knew that he must have his eyes checked
and quick!
More rapid than UPS
his coursers went - bam!
And I knew in an instant
they were trained by Dave Lamb.

"Now Moose, and Moose and Moose and Moose.
On Moose and Moose and Moose and Moose.
To the top of the - wait!
That porch is a sight.
Don't land there or we'll
be in the ER all night.

As dry leaves that fall
from the churchyard next door
He crowded our steps
and blew in the front door.

He was dressed in fake fur
to be true PC
and he looked at my jammies
with far less than glee.
He gave me a glance that said
"Oh, what you're wearing!"
Then he opened his pack and he
pulled out a herring.

His eyes - how they twinkled!
His smile was so bright.
Then he turned red and mumbled
I thought this was Knights
[who say 'Nee']

He had a broad face and a six pack of abs
And I couldn't help giving the eye - he was FAB!
I oogled and ogled this jolly old - yet well-built [cuz it's my poem]elf
And I silently said "Get control of yourself!"
A wink of his eye
let me know what to say
for with fashion that keen
he was obviously gay!

As to how I might wrap up
this complex-styled verse
We may never know
for the news is the worst.

The baby has woken
so this verse is quite mum.
He's asleep on my shoulder
and my arm's going numb!