The Main Event

Several (and by several, I mean a lotta) years ago, I ran across this little book listed in Matt's Science Fiction Book Club catalogue. It was hardly worth glancing at, except the tiny blurb was so catchy and clever I thought "Why not? If I don't like it, it's just eight bucks." (It might have been twelve, I can't remember.) When I had finished reading this little book that nobody else had heard of yet, either, I was bawling and cheering and my emotions were running so high that I was completely unable to wait to share it with my family for storytime.

As I read a very young Colleen and a not quite so very young Matt the first chapter of the first Harry Potter book, Matt and I had to convince our daughter that it really wasn't boring and she should give it another listen. I don't have to tell you that by the end of the book, we were all fanatics - just like the rest of the world.

It became one of those family traditions that saw us through some periods in our family when it was probably the only thing that kept us talking to each other. We couldn't wait for the next book to come out. We re-read whatever stories had preceded, reserved copies, laid the newest installment at my elbow on the dinner table and rushed to finish whatever we probably hardly tasted just so we could settle in and start reading. And nobody could read it except me. I. Whatever. It was my solemn and beloved duty to read the books with as much passion and enthusiasm as I was able. And I was always able. Not to mention it became something of a game to our family to see if I could meet the challenge of different voices for each new character introduced. Even more of a challenge: would I be able to remember them by the time the next book was released? And Colleen, man, she would be on me if I forgot or changed it - or in the case of Luna Lovegood and ... aw, crap, I can't remember her name...you know...Emma Thompson....the clarivoyant silly lady....well, you know who I mean. Apparently I switched up the voices on the next book, but Colleen said she liked it better that way, so it stuck.

Today we purchased our copies of Harry Potter. They were reserved, although it seems as though we timed it right. The bookstore had to keep restocking the displays. At our 4:30 pm purchase, there were still many store copies not kept behind the counter but that rather takes the 'special' out of it, doesn't it? I had to purchase two copies. One for us. One for Colleen. And there were a few tears shed today. Colleen and I had made promises that no matter how old she was when the last Harry Potter book was released - 12 or 21 - we were still going to sit down and read it out loud for family story time. It was a promise I had looked forward to keeping. Matt has said that I should go ahead and read it to him. I will. I know he knows how much that means to me. I also know it keeps our daughter close to us for just a little bit.

Now, the thing is, I'm not planning on logging on to this computer for at least twenty four hours and will probably not sleep a wink in that same time period. Walker's daddy is spending the night 'camping out' on the floor with him, which means the bedroom (AND the middle of the bed, glory hallelujah) is mine, all mine. Bwahahahaha. I have my reading glasses, my glass of South African shiraz (Sebeka, if you wanted to know), and a book full of words I can't wait to experience.

So, dear readers, until I know how the whole damn thing ends...adieu.

My Yearly Thanks

Dear Lord,

Thank you for this gorgeous and near perfect day that you blessed me with on my birthday. The last few days were horendously muggy and hot, but today you gave me warm sunshine, cool breezes and fragrant smells. I can't tell you how welcome that change of pace has been.

This morning, as you know, I went for my placement test at the local community college. I've been trying to go back to school for so many years now. Remember when I kept registering at the Rhode Island Community College only to have the ferry schedule be less than accomodating so that I was never able to attend? I don't know why I love going to school so much. I just do. I wish I had the kind of disposable income that would let me be a perpetual student, taking classes in whatever interested me: belly dancing (still looking...), water colors, Spanish, ceramics, History of Everything. Maybe that's what I should have chosen for my career goals: Student of the Department of Never Graduating. Oh, wait a minute. I already did that one. For ten years. Silly me, how could I forget over ten years of schooling and a little two year degree to show for it? And you know, God, it never occurred to me (until today) that me - me, of all people! - has actually become an inspiration to younger women. Who would have ever believed THAT possible? The girls I work with are firmly convinced that I'm not as old as I say I am (personally, I feel one should always say one is five to ten years older than actual age so folks will say "Damn! You look great!" In some folks, however, this might tragically backfire.). I mean, everybody knows I have never acted my age. Nor will I ever. And I do try to take care of myself these days. Regular exercise (ya gotta walk the dog when there's no back yard), active week-ends, a change in dietary habits. There's a reason I've proudly lost over 20 pounds. And sunscreen. Probably more Wal Mart sunscreen than Nicole Kidman ever knew existed. I thank you for that. It might be a little vain, but we all are creatures of vanity, now aren't we? And a little perk in the aging well category is well appreciated.

On my birthday, I'd like to make my usual special (and public) prayer. And you know how I always end up pissing off somebody with these. Tough tootsie rolls. Life's too short to always bite your tongue when stating your own beliefs! I do ask, Lord, that you help me work on that pesky forgiveness thing. There are people in my life, not exactly by my choice, who feel justified in causing me pain and demeaning all that I've accomplished. Please help me to deflect those hurtful feelings and turn them, instead, into forgiveness. Something I've never been terribly good at. God knows I can carry a grudge 'til the end of my days and feel damned proud of doing so without losing any of details of why it began! Help me to forgive those I love and, even more, help me to forgive those I don't give a tinker's dam about. Not that I really want to, just that I think it'll make me happier in the long run.

Lord, help me to understand my daughter's need to ignore my existence. Help me to remind her that I hope someday we'll be in a position to be a family again. Help me to keep my son's sister alive for him even when she does not acknowledge him. Help me to forgive the pain she has caused me and to forgive myself for the inevitable grief my decisions have brought to her life. Help me to keep my heart and my arms open in case there is that day she remembers who we are together.

Please bless those who need you most. Abroad and next door. Rich and poor. Loved or alone.

And Lord, please help me not to eat the entire cake, frosting and all.

Thank you for all the amazing blessings in my life I have discovered this year. Thank you for second chances, sticky little mouths that say "I love you", super duper tight, tight, tight hugs, a great hairdresser and people who accept me for exactly who I am, even when they're ready to kill me (or at least tie me to a chair to make me sit down and shut up for a while).

Your friend,
Me

Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition

I'm not a real big armed forced person. Meaning I don't live, breath, sleep, dream the life or anything. But I'm a big supporter of our troops.

I ran across this and thought it was really funny so I thought I'd share it with you. I can't remember where I got it from so I hope I haven't tromped on any toes by posting it here.

The Rules

US Marine Corps Rules:1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. Theywill only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEAL's Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.


US Army Rules:
1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew patch's on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 1345 tee-time.

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines