Good vs. Affable

My mother always told me "can doesn't necessarily mean should". Just because I can jump off a cliff into shark infested waters doesn't mean I should. Just because I can stand on a table in a crowded bar room with a lampshade on my head and sing "The Teddy Bear Picnic" doesn't mean I should. Just because I can travel 45 down Corn Neck Road without any real repercussions doesn't mean I should.

Now, this isn't just a Block Island problem. It's prevalent in American Society, but we're starting to infect the "civilized" world with it (as if it didn't already exist - take Paris, for instance [ not Hilton]). But lately I feel as if, more and more, we're becoming the next Fire Island full of those who misguidedly believe that can equals should. We have some very public figures: business owners, council members, teachers, construction workers, town employees, reporters....well, across the board, really...who, I guess, believe that because something's legal automatically makes it right. Let me tell ya somethin', folks who think they're right, it ain't so. Legal hasn't stood for moral or ethical in quite some time and only those looking for excuses try to insist that it has.

Sure, Champlin's (possibly) can legally expand...but should they? Of course not. It's wrong. They know it's wrong. We know it's wrong. Everybody knows it's wrong. Long and short. But we have to take all this time and money; involve all these people and "experts" because we need to determine whether or not they can. Again, legal makes ethical, right?

Of course, the new Filippi leadership at Ballard's is pushing for nitpicking legality - but just because it makes them technically right, it doesn't make them right with the world. Not to say that they're bad people or that they're wrong across the board. I know folks who work for them (cat) that are wonderful people and very loyal to them, so they can't be all bad. But that doesn't mean that it makes them right legally, either.

Yeah, we can enact a new helmet law requiring all ages to wear them while riding bikes [side note here: let's call a spade a spade. The town's not worried about public safety, they're worried about liability. If you're really concerned about public safety, make it a mandatory helmet until 18 years of age, and then anybody over 18 who rides a bike while talking on a cell phone should have to obey the laws of the jungle. Personally, I'm not sure I want somebody with that little common sense perpetuating the species.] - but should we. Of all the things we have to tackle as a community, helmet laws are the least of our worries.

True, we can deny someone occupancy because they didn't follow the strict rules and now they have (ohmygosh!) fake brick on their chimney (that wasn't originally in the plans, dammit!, and nobody's allowed to change their minds or add amenities without several people's sayso) but, honestly, should we? Really, is it so much skin off the nose?

And it becomes a more personal issue, as well. Do we drink and drive like so many full time and summer members of the community do because everybody else does it? We all know that unless our driving is extremely erratic (and we are observed), we can. But should we? We all know that teenagers can drink on Block Island with very little difficulty. But should they? We all know that we can make more money catering to the noveau riche (that's for you, Everett) and the drinking adults than providing family outlets, but should we.

We can make more money than we need. But should we?

Which leads into the title. Just because someone (or something) is affable, likeable, charming, etc. doesn't automatically make it good. I know plenty of affable people who have let addictions ruin the lives of others (not to mention their own), endanger lives, abandon children, jack over their neighbors, kick their dog, beat their wives, etc. Sure, they're likeable kind of people that are a lot of fun to have a beer with, but they're not good people. Just as there are plenty of good people (you know, pay their bills, are responsible, nurture their children and shower their wives with affection, change old ladies' flat tires in the rain, etc.) who aren't all that charming.

Affable doesn't necessarily make someone good (although we usually like to believe it does). Legal doesn't make something right. Talking doesn't make action. (so I'll shut up already)

Petulance Thy Name Is Warbler

All right, folks, there's no need to go hurting my feelings. I read the other blogs, too, ya know. I happen to agree that the Block Island Blog is one of the most interesting Block Island blogs around. But, just for the record, this blog is not a Block Island blog. It just happens to be written by someone who lives on Block Island, married Block Island, is somewhat known and in the pseudo-public eye on Block Island and is going to miss Block Island on a deeply personal level. And, if we have been keeping up with this little soap opera all along, it was the BIB that "outed" me, if you will. This is my personal little...thingy...and while it may not be the most interesting...you don't have to go and hurt my feelings about it.

Let's move on, shall we?

I want to be rich. If I won the powerball tomorrow (and that's truly unlikely since I don't really play very much) I know exactly what I would do with the money, when and how. The first thing I'd do is pay off all the credit cards and car, mortgage, construction, et al loans. The next thing I'd do is sell this piece of crap Jeep and get myself a nice little minivan. That's right, I said minivan, deal with it!!!! It's not like it won't have a kick ass sound system, ok? Kids need music, too. (But no DVD players. How're kids supposed to play the License Plate Game and annoy their parents with "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" if they're plugged in to a TV in the car?) Then, depending on the amount I won (and for hypothetical purposes it was a lot), I would purchase a home in Kansas City (no surprise there, right?) and I would then purchase a home on Block Island. Now, let me tell you what I would do with this Block Island home. Anything I want to. Because I've been poor far longer than I ever would have knowingly agreed to and I will have a beautiful house. I will be respectful of ordinances, common sense and other people's rights, but I will do whatever the hell I want with my house. I will also hang out on the porch of The Oar occasionally and have one too many martinis. And I will listen as people who work for a living bitch about my rich ways and my condescension and my McMansion and I will think "Yeah, but you'd be me in a heartbeat." Then, I will build or renovate a facility dedicated to the use of community cultural events. And I will ask all my rich buddies to ante up or move on. I will spend my summers in Missouri and my winters on Block Island. I will send my daughter to school in Switzerland because I think that might just be far enough away to force her into fending for herself. And because I want her to learn to ski. With really rich people.

And I will have my eyes done. And my teeth overhauled. I will eat choice cuts of meat and fresh salmon steaks and if I burn the plank on the grill because I didn't realize I was supposed to soak it first, I will laugh it off and say "Live and learn" instead of bursting into tears that I spent the gas money and now we can't even eat the darn thing. I will offer an outlandishly large price to buy this particular structure that I live in and I will lovingly restore it (which would probably finish off my fortune), then fight City Hall to remove the so called wetland on the corner of the property (now that's a BI story not too many people but the old timers know about), gingerbread the corners and turn this into the must get married here spot on the Island. Or at least the must have our reception here after we get married at St. Andrew's spot on the Island.

Oh yeah, and I suppose I'd have to give family members some money, too.

And I'd buy tawny port and keep it on a cherrywood table with beautiful crystal port glasses and never feel guilty about it. I'd invite girls over for coffee and desserts and be able to offer them places to sit. I'd throw dinner parties and everybody would come because we all know that when you're rich, everybody wants to be your friend whether you deserve it or not.

I'd sponsor concerts by Luis. I'd donate every year to the Rescue Squad, the Fire Department, the Block Island Volunteers for Animals, the Block Island School friends, the Medical Center Lights thingy at Christmas time. I'd buy lemonade from every single lemonade stand and tell each and every kid that it was by far the best lemonade on the Island, even if I have to talk through clenced teeth and puckered lips to say it.

I would garden. Poorly. And try to grow pumpkins. Probably poorly, as well. And I would have a porch (or buy one) and decorate it for every single holiday and even some I'll make up so I can decorate some more.

I will take my youngest off island (cuz Sissy's in Switzerland, remember?) to: see a movie, go rollerskating, buy some cool shoes, take underwater basketweaving classes, take swim lessons, go to the museum, etc., whenever he wants to and even when he doesn't.

To me, money isn't just money. It's time. With money, you get more time, if you do it right. And with money, again only if you do it right, you should be able to make more memories with your family. It's not money that's the root of all evil, it's the love of money for money's sake that is the root of all evil.

I promise you, if I ever win the powerball, I promise to let it change me.

I Hope This Is A Test

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