So last night this guy calls me for a "survey". He waits through my insolent teen-aged daughter walking the phone all...the...way...to...the...kitchen. Then he gives me a little ditty about taking a survey and would I be willing to answer a few questions? Now, I know these poor people are just trying to make a buck and they probably have to deal with rudeness all night, so I try to be pleasant and courteous as I tell them no. I explain it's dinner time, I can't answer any questions right now. Shouldn't have left THAT one open for interpretation! When would be a good time to call me back, he wonders. In the midst of scrubbing avocado off uncooperative 14 month old hands, I say "Oh, let's not." To which this guy gets thid surly tone, says "Then say you're not interested and stop wasting our time," and hangs up on me! Excuse me? Dude, you called me! And then I called him a clip on tie wearing, gel over-using, community college attending (sorry 'bout that CCers), seersucker sporting, Kevin Federline wannabe. It did not assauge my anger.

Do you think ol' Alexander Graham Bell could have forseen a future when people randomly call strangers to act like a**holes? Perhaps he shouldn't have said "Watson, come here, I need you." Perhaps he should have said, "Watson, it works. Put us on the no call list. Hurry!"

p.s. 12 Days coming when I can type two-handed.

O Tannenbaum

Words I never, in my wildest imagination, thought I would utter: "Please stop beating your sister with that tree."

Rudie

You know Martha and Everett and Serta and Irish
Elton and Yoda, Bo-Peep, Sam and 'non'mous
But do you recall...the most famous poster of all?

Rudie the Red-Nosed Blogger
Was very well-read with his peers
And if you ever saw it
You'd know why he loved his beers.

All of the other bloggers
Used to laugh and call him names.
They always taunted Rudie
with insipid, nasty flames.

Then one drunken Christmas Eve,
Rudie drank too much.
Then exposed his congressman
as an embezzling, bribe-taking lush.

Then how the bloggers loved him.
And they all then praised his name.
"Rudie the beer drinking blogger -
Love that guy - He's got game!"

*tumultuous applause*

_______________________________

Dear Folks,
I love a challenge. The little rip-off above is one. I've always enjoyed seeing where my imagination leads when someone asks "How do the pimentos get into the olives?" or "Why is 'blue' blue?" In this case, this send-up was a bit too easy, taking all of five minutes (with a 20 min. break for bedtime) to write. But I enjoyed it anyway.

Feel free to offer me more.

The Warbler

P.S. Is there some way to attach sound to a blog?