Happy Birthday
There's something about spending a birthday close to home.
It's been over 8 years, at the very least, that I have had a birthday cake. And with candles? Forget about it! Never mind that it was the candles that are traditionally used at all family birthdays and require 45 minutes of perfect breath control and no hyperventilation to blow out. I certainly hoped that means my wish is bound to come true since I worked so hard for it! And make a wish I did. A selfish, all mine and nobody else's, not completely unrealistic or unattainable wish. And then you realize that it's been at least 8 years since I've made a wish on birthday candles.
There was a cookout in between downpours. An ice cream cake - I can't even remember the last time I had an ice cream cake. I love those things. Presents. Yes, actual presents in actual wrapping paper. Although T & G took wrapping to a whole different level.
It was nice to have my birthday truly celebrated. To feel special. And I did. They didn't have to do anything. Really. It would have been okay. After all, being here is such a gift. But I can truly say how much the effort was appreciated.
And I noticed myself saying "Ja" (read: the Scandinavian 'Yah') a lot. I'm not from Minnesota, we Missourians don't say it that way. But it comes rolling off my tongue with amazing ease. I do miss New England scenery with the cedar shingles and painted doors. And Red Lobster just doesn't hold the appeal for me that it does to many Mid-Westerners. But I have missed the feel, the smell, the sounds and the sights (not the mention the storms!) of the region of my birth.
Even when family is over 1400 miles away, I still need them to remind me of who I actually am. Where I come from, what I have overcome and still have yet to hurdle, and, of course, my place in the very long pecking order. I am last in our generation. A big, bratty baby gone good. I like knowing that there are tons of people to put me in my place. Although my place is pretty awesome.
When we surround ourselves with those who make us feel small and bitter, we become small and bitter. When we are with those who make us feel positive and whole, we become...a big, bratty baby gone good.
My family has given me a greater gift than they could have ever realized.
Although I did NOT receive a life sized poster of Johnny Depp. So everybody else can feel free - preferrably in his Jack Sparrow outfit. A girl's gotta dream...
Anyway, Happy Birthday to me. I have earned it. And I hope to have many, many more.
posted by The Warbler | 7/20/2006 08:55:00 PM
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