Good vs. Affable

My mother always told me "can doesn't necessarily mean should". Just because I can jump off a cliff into shark infested waters doesn't mean I should. Just because I can stand on a table in a crowded bar room with a lampshade on my head and sing "The Teddy Bear Picnic" doesn't mean I should. Just because I can travel 45 down Corn Neck Road without any real repercussions doesn't mean I should.

Now, this isn't just a Block Island problem. It's prevalent in American Society, but we're starting to infect the "civilized" world with it (as if it didn't already exist - take Paris, for instance [ not Hilton]). But lately I feel as if, more and more, we're becoming the next Fire Island full of those who misguidedly believe that can equals should. We have some very public figures: business owners, council members, teachers, construction workers, town employees, reporters....well, across the board, really...who, I guess, believe that because something's legal automatically makes it right. Let me tell ya somethin', folks who think they're right, it ain't so. Legal hasn't stood for moral or ethical in quite some time and only those looking for excuses try to insist that it has.

Sure, Champlin's (possibly) can legally expand...but should they? Of course not. It's wrong. They know it's wrong. We know it's wrong. Everybody knows it's wrong. Long and short. But we have to take all this time and money; involve all these people and "experts" because we need to determine whether or not they can. Again, legal makes ethical, right?

Of course, the new Filippi leadership at Ballard's is pushing for nitpicking legality - but just because it makes them technically right, it doesn't make them right with the world. Not to say that they're bad people or that they're wrong across the board. I know folks who work for them (cat) that are wonderful people and very loyal to them, so they can't be all bad. But that doesn't mean that it makes them right legally, either.

Yeah, we can enact a new helmet law requiring all ages to wear them while riding bikes [side note here: let's call a spade a spade. The town's not worried about public safety, they're worried about liability. If you're really concerned about public safety, make it a mandatory helmet until 18 years of age, and then anybody over 18 who rides a bike while talking on a cell phone should have to obey the laws of the jungle. Personally, I'm not sure I want somebody with that little common sense perpetuating the species.] - but should we. Of all the things we have to tackle as a community, helmet laws are the least of our worries.

True, we can deny someone occupancy because they didn't follow the strict rules and now they have (ohmygosh!) fake brick on their chimney (that wasn't originally in the plans, dammit!, and nobody's allowed to change their minds or add amenities without several people's sayso) but, honestly, should we? Really, is it so much skin off the nose?

And it becomes a more personal issue, as well. Do we drink and drive like so many full time and summer members of the community do because everybody else does it? We all know that unless our driving is extremely erratic (and we are observed), we can. But should we? We all know that teenagers can drink on Block Island with very little difficulty. But should they? We all know that we can make more money catering to the noveau riche (that's for you, Everett) and the drinking adults than providing family outlets, but should we.

We can make more money than we need. But should we?

Which leads into the title. Just because someone (or something) is affable, likeable, charming, etc. doesn't automatically make it good. I know plenty of affable people who have let addictions ruin the lives of others (not to mention their own), endanger lives, abandon children, jack over their neighbors, kick their dog, beat their wives, etc. Sure, they're likeable kind of people that are a lot of fun to have a beer with, but they're not good people. Just as there are plenty of good people (you know, pay their bills, are responsible, nurture their children and shower their wives with affection, change old ladies' flat tires in the rain, etc.) who aren't all that charming.

Affable doesn't necessarily make someone good (although we usually like to believe it does). Legal doesn't make something right. Talking doesn't make action. (so I'll shut up already)