Left Behind
I don't turn left.
It drives my family crazy.
Unless there's a little green arrow that shines solely for me and those in my special little lane, I don't turn left. I will continue well past where I wish to be so that I may turn right at an intersection that affords me a light with the friendly little arrow or an opportunity to turn right back onto the road from whence I came.
I don't like to wait forever for traffic to open up enough. We all know that the milk of human kindness is drying up, so if it's rush hour, not a lot of folks are gonna let you in just because. And I don't use my car's superior size to intimidate. I'm not really the 'take a chance with my already too expensive insurance' type. Sorry, Tawanda.
I don't like people piling up behind me with their patience shorter than mine and the incomprehensible belief that they actually have the right to honk at me for NOT breaking the law. Dweebs. No, I do not take chances with my car. My life. My children's lives. My pets in the back. Or, even more importantly, the Boston Creme Pie in the backseat that must arrive intact and 'unslid' from the bake sale to my eager table. I can't handle the pressure.
So I just don't turn left. And, honestly, the only people who are bothered by it are the ones giving themselves strokes by doing it. Maybe I'm just always right, huh?
posted by The Warbler | 5/27/2006 05:57:00 PM
13 Comments:
This is amazing! I have always thought that making a left hand turn was going to be my cause of death and, I too, avoid them at all costs - I knew there was some kindred spirit in there sistah!
Hi Paula, Well you know from where I live, making only right turns would put me up in the Boy Scout camp permanently. So I have been a left turner for a long time but I keep winding up right back at my front door! It has gotten so that I have to hire kids to go too the store or Post Office. Very frustrating, but good practice for when Altzhiemers finally strikes!
Warbler, dear!
Now I know that the traffic gods and goddesses are smiling on me! I, too, refuse to attempt a left-hand turn across two or three lanes of on-coming traffic.
I'm not timid or cowardly, just trying to following the Tao of Traffic....go with the flow.
It does indeed lead to serenity, calm and happiness.
This leads me to muse.....
Why did the Warbler cross the road?
Because the arrow was green....
Living for the Tao.
M.
Confucius say:
A woman who follows the Tao and never takes left turn is a woman who will never need a tow truck.
hahahahhahhahahahhahahaha
Ah Confucius - I think you meant a Tao truck...
Forget the Tao.
Forget the Tao Truck.
If you steer clear of those left-hand turns you'll never have to say....
Doh!
Doh ----------a dear
a female dear
Forget driving at all!
I prefer to run madly through the streets with my kidlets in tow singing songs like this one.
Who needs green lights when you've got the sound of music running through your brain??
Leftie-loosie
Righty-tighty
And don't forget the other plumber's mantra - "Shit runs downhill"
... and payday is Friday!
two wrongs don't make a right, but two lefts do!
2p or not 2p that is the question??
correction: THREE lefts make a right!
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