Baby, It's Cold Outside

Jeezum Crow, it's frickin' c-c-c-cold up here!

Does Santa still give coal? I mean, kids today don't even know what coal is or what it's used for. [Me, I know all about its future jewelry applications. Best friends aside...]If he doesn't give coal anymore, what does he give? Heating oil? Kilowatts? Seasoned wood? Nick Lachey CDs? [I was gonna say 'Barry Manilow CDs' but, man, that guy could write the songs. I admit it, 'Week-end in New England' is a sentimental favorite made more poignant with time. And I still remember every word to 'Copacabana'. Hell, what 80's kid doesn't? Test yourself. Sing the song right now and surprise yourself by how much of it you remember. Just like 'Bohemian Rhapsody', some lyrics you just never forget.]

Did I mention it's frickin' cold up here? Geez, at this point I might as well learn the words to "Oh, Canada" cuz it's just like living there, tooks, cross-country skis, French TV and all.

I hate being cold. Hate it.