Wanted
WANTED: Best Friend and Confidante: Unique individual seeks same. Qualified applicants should meet the following criteria:
-Must genuinely like me and at least some of my characteristics.
-Must make me laugh.
-Must get my jokes - and like them.
- Must be level-headed, down to earth, have common sense and not come from a seriously dysfunctional family or be the cause of a seriously dysfunctional family.
- Must be musically or theatrically inclined, preferrably onstage but techies okay.
-Must be willing to audition for both musicals and plays with me, but never compete for the same parts. Also must admit that there will never be a King to rival my Anna.
-Must love coffee and know how to brew same.
-Should be willing to walk every so often - preferrably in the morning when the light is easy, the smells are glorious and the noise level makes it easy for heartfelt conversations.
-Should take my side at all times.
-Must be willing to tell me when I'm wrong (use for this skill is rare).
-Must glare at my husband behind his back because he's not good enough for me and be sweet to his face because he's my husband.
-Expects me to do the same.
-Must understand that I cannot afford to do anything, go anywhere, buy anything or visit at any time if I cannot bring my baby.
-Needs an extensive vocabulary - or at least the ability to divine word meanings.
-If not highly intelligent, then at least highly clever.
-Needs very little excuse to dress in any kind of costume.
-Needs very little excuse to throw party to dress in any kind of costume.
-Needs no excuse at all to have party for the sheer sake of food.
-Must be able to identify the musicals in which the following characters appear: Lena Lamont, Prince Dauntless, Tessie Tura, Peep Bo, Motel Kamzoil.
-Must be able to identify the movie the following quotes are from: "Judge me by my size, do you not?" "Well...you were dead." "So long, thanks for all the fish." "I should have dumped you back in Pittsburgh." "Quid pro quo, Doctor."
-Knows what's important in life.
-Also knows that money really, really helps.
-Cannot be friends with my husband.
-Is a person of character, values and integrity and takes pride in trying to be a good person.
-Believes in a higher power and a greater good.
-Knows more about something (car repair, baking, publishing, common household stains and their removal) than I do and can fix the things I can't.
-Cannot be an emotional terrorist.
-Is positive, upbeat and a lifelong member of the optimist's club - negativism is catching and I'm already trying to shake a bad case I caught off of someone else.
-Cannot be skinnier than a size 10 or there cannot be any real (cheesecake filled) future for us.
-Did I mention: knows what's important?
-Must be nice to children, animals, older persons and grumpy, rude people who don't deserve it.
-Must know why it's important to be nice to people who don't really deserve it.
-Must know how to hold one's ground without going on the offensive.
-Prejudice of any kind will not be tolerated!
If you are qualified for this position, I'm pretty sure you're already somebody's best friend - or there's a darn good reason you're not and I probably forgot to mention it (mental illness, jail time, etc.) in my list.
Friendship is a treasure. But best friends...well...there's no way to calculate the immense worth of a true (real and good) best friend. Here's to all the best friends...and those who have one because they are one.
posted by The Warbler | 5/20/2005 02:24:00 PM
5 Comments:
(Because I am often misunderstood when read, I will preface this by saying this is meant to be encouraging, and a fresh perspective on the struggle to find a best friend.)
I realized a long time ago that friends come in all shapes and sizes, with different likes and dislikes. I can't say that any of my friends is a perfect match for me. I have a friend who invites me to Neil Diamond concerts! (I think they do it to annoy me, they should know better). I have friends who wear clothes I would never wear, some who are better looking, some who are not. I have married friends and single friends. I even have a divorced friend.
I have friends that hate televsion, and friends that have DVD's of Friends, or Sex in the City, or Melrose place.
I have friends who love to drink wine, and friends who don't drink at all.
I guess my point is this, maybe the reason you are searching for a best friend, is that you haven't opened yourself up to the possibility that maybe if you meet someone who is plain old nice, but doesn't recite lines from "The Princess Bride" on cue, might just be a starting point.
Maybe that person could introduce you to a few new things, and you could drag them to Spamalot.
And what is the harm if they like your husband, or make you leave the baby at home once in while?
I happen to think you are blessed (I am sure you do too). You have a husband that works (everyone complains about too hard, or not enough, but I am always a fan of the too hard types.) The cutest baby in the world. A daughter who you can vent your hair fantasies on, and who is apparently a talented writer. (Congrats Colleen!)
You have what a lot of my friends cry into their pillows about at night while they listen to their biological clock tick. A good husband, and two kids. And a house in Maine...no matter how disappointing that turned out to be.
I'll also say that the concept of a "Best Friend" is something I haven't figured out since HS. Things change as you get older. Bestowing that title on someone is sometimes asking for disappointment. I think all relationships go through changes, whether marriage or friendship.
I will also add what many of my friends with kids tell me, that once the bambino reaches school age, you will meet people you would not have met otherwise.
I appreciate the point you're making, BIB. I, too, have the different myriad of friends. I have the "other mother" friend, the "movie" friend, the "go out to lunch" friend. I have the "call once a week" friend, etc. I even have tons of email (and blogging!) friends - some from the past, some from the present and some from a galaxy far, far away. If you wrap all of my friends (and I am a fairly friendly person, so I am delighted to say that I have more than my share, I'm sure) together, you actually get the advertised person - and then some!
You know, its interesting the things you have chosen to compliment me on. I do have a husband who works hard - 7 days a week, 10 - 14 hours a day - the cutest baby in the world and a daughter who indulges her own hair fantasies (but since I color my own every season, who am I to tell her no now that she's of an age?). We're all fairly healthy and my baby is also one of the happiest babies on the face of this planet. When I was married to my first husband (a truly kind and loving individual), my then "best friend" was attending graduate school at the University of South Carolina in Columbia. She was student directing a production of "The Lion in Winter" and invited me down for five weeks to be a part of the production so that we could spend some time having fun and I could help her out. With my husband's blessing, I went to Columbia, took part in her production, worked for a temp service while I was there and our friendship fell completely apart. I had never been treated by anyone the way she had treated me, but I also felt bound by my word and my integrity that I should finish the job I started and refused to leave. One night, after a few beers (I was young and this was the 80s, when one could drink in parked cars) I finally screwed up my courage and asked her what I had done that was so terribly awful, what kind of cruel person had I been to lead to her to treat me thus? She looked at me (she had even a few more beers than I, if memory serves) and told me, "You have everything I've ever dreamed of. You have a gorgeous, wonderful husband who worships you and makes a great living. You're pretty and funny and you have more talent in my little finger than I have in my whole body. Everything comes so easy for you while I have to work my ass off for it. Do you know what I'd give to have what you do?" I didn't have much of an answer for her that night. I couldn't really imagine that she could actually hated me because I had what she wanted. That kind of concept was a bit foreign to me. But one thing I learned that night, and has continued to be reinforced throughout my adulthood, is that just because something looks good to somebody else, doesn't necessarily mean that it is. And what's good for the gander ain't necessarily good for the goose. I've been blessed with having several "best friends" throughout my life and my experiences were rich and full because of them. I prefer that particular kind of friendship and usually don't have a difficult time finding it - even out here on our lonely little rock.
That being said: it was just a fun thing to write. Nothing more, nothing deeper. Just something I had fun putting together.
And thank you for the compliments. For those of you who don't know, my daughter (whose name appears courtesy of the BIB) won a short story competition sponsored by the Rhode Island Holocaust Museum. We are incredibly proud of her and she hates the picture I put in the paper.
Shoot,
I am sorry. I have been so good about not naming names. I wasn't thinking! Feel free to nuke my post!
Like I've said before sometimes the meaning gets lost on the reader. Maybe I was getting a sad vibe because of the house woes.
I guess the other thing I SHOULD have said, is that my single friends are jealous of my married friends and vice versa (a point you have made in your last post). The whole grass is always greener bit.
I guess I just saw it from the point of view of someone who could be a friend, but doesn't fit the very defined mold you laid out.
You gals crack me up! Don't delete even a smidgen of it. We were out on a boat today (warm and no wind) and one gal lets out a story where her current husband said "honey, you're the only person I'll share my farts with." Those gals were cackling like blue jays attacking a rat snake and honking like a duck on a june bug. Us guys were out-numbered so we kinda moved out of range, onto technical stuff and sports, just to play it safe. Plus, those girls were having such a good time we thought they'd bust a gut from laughing so hard and long.
It was a joy to see.
Sam
Ever have a fantasy list? Top ten things you want to do before you die, that kind of thing? This post was something like it. All three (or was it four) of the "best friends" in my life have fit this particular mold almost to a 't'. But I like all sorts of people. All sorts of people like me. Life's cool that way. You know me, BIB, I don't know you. But if we're not friends and you'd like to be...you just call out my name and understand that I can't/don't leave the baby at home because there's nobody to watch him. But if you'd like to help me take him for a walk...come along, baby. If we can get along, we will. If we have a past, let's forget it and start over and if we don't have any memories together, let's make a few before I leave.
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