Who Wrote The Book of Love?
Sonnet 29 "When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes"
When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least:
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,--and then my state
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings'.
William Shakespeare
(1564 - 1616)
posted by The Warbler | 2/09/2006 12:35:00 PM
10 Comments:
sam provided this. i thought it sounded like something I would write.
The Onion
WASHINGTON, DC—Responding to a dramatic increase in cases of starry-eyed gazing and spontaneous poetry, the Environmental Protection Agency issued a general health warning Tuesday for hazardous levels of atmospheric romance across the entire North American continent.
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A young pair afflicted by its devastating effects.
"Early indications of romantic exposure include a flushing of the skin around the face, neck, and chest, accelerated heartbeat, rapid eyelash batting, and sighs," EPA administrator Steven Johnson said at a morning press conference. "Left untreated, the ailment progresses rapidly, leading to aimless strolls, floral purchases, and a form of acute and regressive aphasia in which the victim's speech degenerates into that of a young child."
According to Johnson, teens, recently married couples, and people who have not yet had all of the hope drained out of them by bitter life experience are at the greatest risk.
"We recommend that members of high-risk groups minimize their exposure by staying indoors, covering up, and avoiding old flames, which can react with even trace elements of sexual chemistry to ignite free-floating passions," Johnson said. "Those living in scenic parts of the country are at an especially high risk, and are strongly urged to avoid dazzling sunsets, mountain vistas, fields of wildflowers, and sun-dappled lakes."
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A computer-enhanced image of the high concentrations of romance in the atmosphere over North America.
In an attempt to control the spread of romance, police and sheriff's departments across the country have blockaded intimate bed and breakfasts, ivy-covered inns, and five-star restaurants.
To stem further contamination, hundreds of municipal-park swans have been shot.
Epidemiological studies have found that individuals in picturesque surroundings are eight times more likely to suffer sudden swoonings, sweepings-off of the feet, and, in some extreme cases, prolonged confinement to bed with other romance sufferers.
Those who consider themselves immune to heightened romance levels should take precautions, as well.
"Jaded urbanites and self-styled 'commitment-phobes' should evacuate the continent if possible, as this group is especially susceptible to ill-advised rebound-type pairings and impulsive phone calls and e-mails that they are likely to later regret," Johnson said.
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A Los Angeles police officer disposes of hazardous, romantic waste.
If romance levels cannot be stabilized, experts are not ruling out the possibility of an "airborne erotic event"—a massive nationwide outbreak of lovesickness.
"This type of sickness comes from ground-level xoxozone, which occasionally causes distortion to the lower frequencies of the visual field, or 'rose tinting,'" Hallmark scientist Dr. Susan McMurrough said. "It is nearly impossible to detect, as it is generally odorless and colorless. However, in high concentrations, it has an odor like that of Wind Song bath splash."
"Despite centuries of desperate, impassioned research, modern science has found no cure for the periodic springtime scourge commonly known as romance," McMurrough said. "Only three years ago, we were able to isolate an xoxozone sample, but it was lost when all of our scientists abandoned their research duties and eloped."
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
Roses are red
Tractors are too
I'm outside
Cuz there's dung on my shoe....
I think cut & paste is probably the greatest computer tool of our time.
I'm also thinking my erstwhile friend has missed a calling with Hallmark.
How sweet it is!
-Jackie Gleason
Most romantic phrase of 2005-6?
"I wish I knew how to quit you."
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That sounds very familiar...oh, right, I said it the other night in front of my fridge...
Warbler, dear.
I'm saying it right now to a lovely bottle of red.
Livin for La Vida Loca
M
Martha,
As in the case (I wish) of Shiraz, some things are better left unsaid.
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