When A Man Loves A Woman

I'm sure I'll make the "feminists" angry with me for this one. Tough. I'm an equal opportunist, but I have to admit I'm rather infatuated with femininity - my own, especially. I can't think of anything more powerful or beautiful than my gender and all that entails.

Which brings me to John Wayne.

It doesn't surprise a lot of people to know that listed in my Top Twenty favorite films (c'mon, there's no way I can have under forty favorite films, there's just too many) are "Singin' In The Rain" and "Every Musical Ever Known To Mankind", a coupla period pieces like "Lady Jane" and "Elizabeth" (No, not PMS pieces, that would be 'Steel Magnolias' and 'Terms of Endearment' - movies women watch when they need a good cry). But it always seems to surprise folks that two of my top five are John Wayne movies. Hey, I like Apple Pie, Hot Dogs and Chevy Trucks, too. (old chevys) "The Quiet Man" - one of my all time favs. I break out the video every St. Patrick's Day because the networks always cut the best snippets out - especially my favorite line "Here's a stick to beat the lovely lady". The other? "McLintock". Which is "The Quiet Man" 15 years later in the Wild West. Which is really Taming of The Shrew meets John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara.

Oh sure, I know, it's sexist and old fashioned and demeaning to women. Sure. If you DON'T GET WOMEN. No woman actually wants a big bully to subjugate, dominate and humiliate her in public with draggings and spankings, especially when the whole town is cheering and rooting him on and old women are saying "Here's a lovely stick..." At least, women who aren't in need of counseling. But it's the magic formula and, dare I say it, the metaphor for companionable marriages. Trite, sure. But, think about it. John Wayne is strong, wealthy, tall, attractive, women want him and men want to be him. He's always got commen sense, an injured sense of honor, well-respected by all except the nincompoops, charitable, honest, etc., etc. And he packs a mean straight-arm. The man is everything the female of the species looks to find in a male of the species. Nor is he willing to settle for some little milquetoast, cry to momma, I'll just sit here on the sidelines and let you do all the thinking for me while I birth the babies gal. He always wants...well, Maureen O'Hara. Beautiful. Strong. Opinionated. Generous. Kind. And one hell of a temper. And red-headed. Men can't resist a red-head, from what I've observed.

The metaphor? A woman doesn't want a strong man who'll publicly spank her. What a woman really wants is to be herself, warts and all: opinions, tempers, fiery tantrums (which, of course, a true lady waits to have until home), mistakes. We want men who love a gal with spunk. A man who not only isn't threatened by a woman who is true to herself, her sex and her values, but isn't afraid of him, either. And, in the movies, a man who lets his wife roundhouse him and clenches his teeth as he says, "Now, Katie, I've taken about all the jaw I'm gonna take from you" before he chases her through the streets in her pantaloons. And she never has to worry that he's gonna smack her back. You know, someone in control of himself.

Everybody wants validation and acceptance. It's part of what makes us human. All woman have a Mary Kate Danahur or a Katie McLintock in us. And we just want a little, make that a BIG John Wayne type (at least the walk) who loves God, Country and Motherhood and finds a woman with fire, spirit and a temper (well, I AM part Irish, after all) something worth fighting for.

The only draw back is that McLintock is about two and a half hours long, Patrick Wayne STILL can't act and no woman can make temper tantrums look as good as Maureen O'Hara. AFter all, real life isn't really in Innishfree or McLintock County.

Still...