Tradition

I was thinking of my role in "Fiddler On the Roof" - I was much younger then, about to embark on my first marriage. I played Hodel, the middle daughter. Now I'm a Frumah Sara, the shrieking ghost, waiting to happen. Anyway, all of the sudden I think "You know, arranged marriages aren't such a bad idea." Provided they're arranged by people who are truly looking out for your best interests and have a healthy dose of common sense. In fact, arranged marriages should be decided by the brothers, sisters, cousins and best friends, too. And don't forget to give them the family dog test - if he gets past Fido then he'll probably get past Grandma Tzeitel.

I know a lot of long-lasting marriages, but not all that many happy ones. Maybe a handful of people truly happy and/or content with their marriages: Irish, the Lambs, Sam, Ev, Auntie M & Unca H had a pretty decent run. Anybody married less than five years doesn't count. I honestly think...oh, wait, the Lofarros are definitely a good example. But, really, that's not a lot in the grand scheme of things. And you have to wonder, how many of these folks took their parent's advice into consideration when choosing a spouse?

When you fall madly in love, it's incredibly difficult to be practical about what might be ten or twenty years down the road. It doesn't matter what age you are, when you're in the first throes of passion, you don't consider that five years from now there are gonna be times when he doesn't really like her very much, and times when she can't stand living with him right now and you just hope that those weeks never coincide with each other. It's those times when the practical decisions come in handy. Because when you're twenty-five and starting out, you think it's romantic and colorful to live in a condemned garrett, eating raman noodles and "living on love". But if you're 35 and the scenario's the same? Not so much.

If your family is picking a spouse for you, they'll take into consideration all those things headstrong love throws out the window: a future, domestic ability, responsibility, a good family (which is NOT the same as social standing), compatible religious and political views. So when that glorious long rocker hair falls out and those six-packs turn to 2-litres, the sense of humor and kindness to children will keep them attractive.

Anyway, I was just taking a moment to think about a musical I did once.