Paperback Writer
He walked into my office like Rasputin entering a Hallmark Store - out of his element and out of his mind.
"Hello, Sam." His voice was the same husky whisper, like a 20 year old Scotch served on a velvet-lined tray. He was that smooth.
"Hello, Nicky," I said. I may have sounded cool and collected on the outside, but on the inside the bells were ringing a warning a deaf and blind man couldn't miss.
Nicky Maniboutoun had it all. Looks, money, charm, sex appeal. And he knew it. He could make a dame's knees buckle with a single "come and get it" glance. When I was a young gal, just starting out on the beat, I was as green as blue comes. I didn't know he was one of the wealthiest men in town, nor did I know that he was engaged to Roberta Illkikeras, Greek-American Shipping Heiress. I just knew that, back then, I could hold my own against the killer dames and I set my standard issue cap. I almost came up with the prize, too.
"I need your help, Sam," he breathed, crossing the room with languid steps and long legs.
My heart skipped a beat. Maybe two. Okay, maybe four, but no more than that. I played it cool. He couldn't see me sweat behind my knock-off cashmere.
He stopped at my desk and a frown creased his perfect fact. "Are you sweating?"
Damn!
"What do you need, Nicky? I'm a busy woman." I wasn't. In fact, business had been slow lately. I really could use the work, but he didn't need to know that.
"Roberta's missing," he almost sobbed. The man knew how to play me like a Strati - Strata - really good violin. "The police think I had something to do with her disappearance, but I didn't, Sam, I swear I didn't. I didn't know where else to go. You're the only one I knew who could help me."
Then I saw it. The little tic at the side of his kissable mouth. The one that always told me when he wasn't being entirely forthcoming.
"What are you keeping from me, Nicky," I asked as I opened the bottom drawer and pulled out two glasses - the kinds that people like me keep for moments like this.
"What makes you think I'm keeping something from you?" He was all wide-eyed innocence so I knew he was lying. But it looked good on him. Too good.
"It's me, Nicky," I poured something dark red and somewhat flavorful. "You know you can't hide things from me."
"Um..." he looked at the glass dubiously.
"What," I demanded. I might be poor but I'm not unkempt. "It's clean."
"It's Merlot," he said. "Oh, Sam, just how down on your luck are you?"
posted by The Warbler | 1/07/2006 08:45:00 PM
8 Comments:
Hi, I hope that was the beginning of the new book! Hurry up and finish it, I vant to know whats up his sleevies besides his armies! And don't give it up to soon,'cause we all know he is a cad! Whew, is that an old word or what?
Cad - isn't that chocolate? Oh, Cadbury! Must have chocolate on the brain. Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate...seltzer (to wash down the chocolate).
Oh, Ev, if only I had the talent to produce a dime store novel, I would enjoy that. Alas, I was just being egotistical and proving that I can write anything from even the most...unusual...of phrases or circumstances. It's fun, isn't it?
By the way...my daughter told me the name for those three little dots we use to show a trailing of sentences...are 'elipses'. Who knew?
I'd like to know how Sam turns out - I'm a big fan of people with names like that. Like my daughter. Yup, Samantha is not a cool name anymore.
But no prob, you know us guys, we wanted just a little more of those "white boughs swaying," just a wee tad, since we're completely incorrigible.
My Pinot Noir huskily lusts ... with hints of 'vaguely pepperminty or black cherry aroma, with ripe tomato, mushroom, and barnyard' suggestions [from www.winepros.org] and ... oops, here comes my bride, gotta go!
Barnyard? Isn't that a nice way to say "kaka"? My Petite Syrrah - oops, thinking Shakespeare - Petite Sirah promises Roots. Rocks. Intrigue. It's "rich with cherry flavors and has ahint of toasty oak for a smooth, silky finish." All I care about is, does it taste good and will it help keep my heart healthy? I remember when wine labels never said anything about "Enjoy with beef or your favorite Lamb dish" - when there was a difference between a wino and a wineaux.
Well ... at least I did't make it up! Think nice hay smells instead of poopy, maybe. Poor Pinot Noir, it really is a problem child of the grape varietals. I tried to grow them and they went kaka on me (and me out about a hundred bucks). Anyone who can grow them deserves a medal, probably. It's that tough.
I think that's why grape growers started looking at Syrrah varietals. My claim to fame is making wine out of wild grapes and keeping it in the rack for 2-3 years. It could remove grease spots and give you a horrendous buzz - but was wonderful for a BBQ marinade.
And yes, there is a Merlot grape, although I should have tried growing them. I made a kit instead and it was the best wine I ever tasted. Anyone who says it is a "beginner's" wine is full of ... barnyard. You might try it sometime, making your own.
Does it take longer than 20 minutes?
BTW, why is Pinot the problem child? I like it. Is it hard to produce? The only thing I know about wine is how to open it and how to drink it. Past that, I know as much (or even less than) about wine as your average peacock.
Hah, obviously you're not that frontier's woman we all had in the back of our minds, branding cattle with one arm while holding a baby in the other! LOL.
OK, Pinot Noir is a problem child because everything in Nature conspires to kill it, stomp it, eat it, and ruin it before you can even pick it ... and the birds and bugs know it. Few people will even consider growing Pinot grapes except some crazy Frenchmen near Bourgogne, something like that. It's only benefit is that it has now tannin and a neutral acidity.
Why is that good? Tannins make the wine bitter sometimes. Acidity can give you heartburn.
Some folks about there in California grow some Pinot Noir grape just for the Halibut - I mean to blend with other grapes and call Chardonnay. How nice.
Halibut, yeah right. You'll have to forgive me I have a wicked cold.
Post a Comment
<< Home