Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

(The new web page is up - nuttin' fancy, just pics - but it's up)

My cousin sent me a Christmas present. I haven't even let her know I've received the package and here I am about to share some of it with you. How tacky, Warbler! One of the enclosures was a book by Dr. James Dobson entitled "Bringing Up Boys". The first page of Chapter 2 is my favorite by far. This guy is a religious Child Developemnt Psychologist - but he seems to have a sense of humor despite that. I guess he's also on the radio, too, but I don't really know anything about that. Apparently he got a letter from a nine year old girl named Elizabeth. In it, she shared a list she had made about why girls are better than boys.

GIRLS ARE MORE BETTER THAN BOYS

1. girls chew with their mouths closed.
2. girls have better hand writing.
3. girls sing better.
4. girls are more talented.
5. girls can do their hair better.
6. girls cover their mouths when they sneeze.
7. girls don't pick their nose.
8. girls go to the bathroom politely.
9. girls learn faster.
10. girls are more kinder to animals.
11. girls don't smell as bad.
12. girls are more smarter.
13. girls get more things what they want.
14. girls don't let stinkers as much.
15. girls are more quieter.
16. girls don't get as durty. [sic]
17. girls are cleaner.
18. girls are more attractive.
19. girls don't eat as much.
20. girls walk more politely.
21. girls aren't as strict.
22. girls sit more politely.
23. girls are more creative.
24. girls look better than boys.
25. girls comb their hair better.
26. girls shave more.
27. girls put on deoderant on more often.
28. girls don't have as much bodyodor.
29. girls don't want their hair messed up.
30. girls like to get more tan.
31. girls have more manners.

Oh, now, gentlemen, don't get yer panties in a wad...Dr. Dobson invited his listening audience of boys to send their written opinions of girls and selected items from the numerous lists he allegedly received. You get represented, too.

WHY BOYS ARE MORE BETTER THAN GIRLS

1. Boys can sit in front of a scary movie and not close their eyes once.
2. Boys don't have to sit down every time they go.
3. Boys don't get embarrassed easily.
4. Boys can go to the bathroom in the woods.
5. Boys can climb trees better.
6. Boys can hang on to their stomachs on fast rides.
7. Boys don't worry about "diet-this" and "diet-that".
8. Boys are better tractor drivers than girls.
9. Boys rite better than girls.
10. Boys can build better forts than girls.
11. Boys can take pain better than girls.
12. Boys are way more cooler.
13. Boys have less fits.
14. Boys don't waste their life at the mall.
15. Boys aren't afraid of reptiels.
16. Boys shave more than girls.
17. Boys don't do all those wiggaly movmets when they walk.
18. Boys don't scratch.
19. Boys don't brade another's hair.
20. Boys aren't smart alickes.
21. Boys don't cry and feel sorry when they kill a fly.
22. Boys don't use as mutch deoderent.
23. Boys were created first.
24. Boys learn to make funny noises with their armpits faster.
25. Boys can tie better knots - specially girls pony tails.
26. Boys get to blow up more stuff.
27. Without boys there would be no babies. [Now there's a new thought!]
28. Boys eat with a lot of heart.
29. Boys don't WINE.
30. Boys hum best.
31. Boys are proud of their odor.
32. Boys don't cry over a broken nail.
33. Boys don't need to ask for directions.
34. Boys can spell Dr. Dobson's name correctly.
35. Boys aren't clichish.
36. Boys don't hog the phone.
37. Boys aren't shopacholics.
38. Boys bait their own hook when they fish.
39. Boys don't hang panty hose all over the bathroom.
40. Boys don't wake up with bad hair.
41. Boys aren't stinker.
42. Boys don't take two million years to get ready.
43. Boys couldn't care less about Barby.
44. Boys don't have to have 21 pairs of shoes (three for every day of the week!!!)
45. Boys don't put a tub of makeup on all the time.
46. Boys don't care if their noses aren't perfect.
47. Boys respect everything and everyone including GIRLS!

I tried to keep all the syntax intact. It's hard for me, with all my temp office work not to correct as I type. It's even harder for me not to add comments when we all know exceptions to each and every sweeping generalization on both these lists.

Kids are fun. And we still act like them.