If I Don't Do It, Somebody Else Will
Last night's drivetime music? The Ultimate Dr. John.
I was just wondering what it means to be a good person. Of course morals and ethics. Respect. Courtesy. All that good stuff. But can you be a 'technically' good person, do 'technically' bad things - like drive way too fast or buy Prince's new album - and still be a good person? What happens if following your heart means blurring the ethical boundaries? And if I dye my hair, inject Botox, wear a padded bra and get colored contacts - am I, in essence, a dishonest person?
Wait a minute, if I wear a padded bra and colored contacts, will I get more phone numbers?
posted by The Warbler | 3/24/2006 12:44:00 PM
30 Comments:
Reminds me of a song we used to sing on car rides -
After the ball was over
Nellie took out her glass eye
Put her false teeth in the water
Hung her wig up to dry
Put her fake leg in the corner
Hung her arm on the wall
Not much was left of Nellie
After the city ball...
(Sometimes stream of conscience is a weird thing.)
You're in luck!
I am actually an ethicist, although I usually restrict consultations to my office hours.
(Really, I am an ethicist! I have a degree!)
I would advise that when trying to discern whether or not you are a good person, you need to look at the overall trajectory of your life. We all fail at times, its whether those failures or mistakes are isolated incidences or pointing to some destructive or 'bad' patterns in one's own life.
Speeding when driving means one thing when it's an isolated incident.
Speeding, habitually, points to a disregard for the safety of others and for one's own safety.
Some would disagree with this assessment, but I'm in the tradition of virtue ethics which tends to look for patterns or habits of behavior ( virtues or vices) and their reference to the overall goal or 'telos' of one's character and existence.
Two additional points.
Some traditions speak of these failures or lapses as sin. If this is of concern to you let me offer a definition of this by an internationally recognzied ethicist:
"Sin is the failure to bother to love."
Perhaps that might help you to evaluate your own moral integrity.
It's also important to distiquish between Good and Evil and right and wrong. It is entirely possible to something 'wrong" and still be a good person. Some people act out of goodness and for a percieved good, but can act wrongly.
The important thing is to keep your eye on the goal and keep moving in that direction.
Adios.
A real ethicist? I gotta tell you for your own good: do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT stand near the bedroom window when the little girl spits up split pea soup!
On a different note: Sin is a failure to bother to love. I really like that whole sentiment. It's all about the love, isn't it?
OK!
The peasoup deal gave me lots of chuckles.
I don't have the courage to be an exorcist-- I can barely manage being an ethicist.
And I agree. Love is really the main point. In my tradition it is the chief virtue that orders all of the other virtues ( or character traits.)
Some ethicist emphasize obedience to laws over the claims of love, but I believe that it all boils down to love.
I loved the musical 'Les Mis' for this very reason. It pits the virtue of love as embodied in John Valjean, against the strict and unswerving legalism of Javert the inspector. The love manifested in John Valjeans transformation and life completely unglues the rigid laws of Javert which hover like the pattern of stars in our lives, ever fixed, never changing, standing outside of the chaos and compassion of human life.
Ironically, Javert can't function apart from these laws and when Jean Valjean proves the supremacy and nobility of love--Javert self-destructs.
Pretty deep stuff there and incredibly true to life.
So---keep your eye on the goal and as Patty Griffin sings:
"Maybe love is at the end of every road.
But maybe, maybe it's alright."
adios
While we're on the subject:
Your question about the dyed hair, botox, padded bra and colored contacts....
Some ways to gauge the ethical import of these actions.
Am I doing it for fun and to enhance one's personal beauty?
Am I doing these things because I fear aging and want to cling to youthfulness forever? ( Here we get into the realm of self-deceipt.)
Botox, collagen injections and plastic surgery, however, belong in a more serious category than dying hair, etc.
Because these are directed at the integrity of the human body and involve surgical or medical procedures. There's a great deal more at stake here with these actions. And we have to place all of this in the context of a culture fascinated with maintaining a youthful appearance.
Lot's to reflect on there.
Adios
All I have to say is: I saw 'Les Mis' on B'way 8 times. I kinda get what you're saying. Oh, and I read the book, but it took me a lot longer and I didn't leave humming.
Warbler,dear!
To answer the more important question posted on your blog:
Yes.
You will get more calls if you wear a padded bra and colored contacts.
And that's pretty much all you need to know to get through life. After all, "Girls just want to have fun!"
Living for the vida loca
M
I put a potato in my pants one time and ... well it worked!
You know, sam, that really is a lot more information than I needed to know.
Yeah, the bummer is that it kept sliding to the back of my shorts - NOT GOOD.
Sam,
It was probably a tater tot.
Second thought:
maybe a french fry?
Hey I'm not proud ... the gals got me a little tipsy on tequila and it was Halloween and so I got the Idaho potato in the shorts AND a fully stuffed size "D" bra. I was positively hemaphroditic for a while with the brunette wig! I did it for the country ... I mean the gals ... aw crap, I'd better stop now. Never any more tequila afer THAT, my friends.
Tsk! Tsk! Sam.
Inebriation neither excuses nor justifies errant behavior.
Be a man. Take full responsiblity for your actions. Maybe Miss Manners was right with that french fry remark?
Justify and excuse? Absolutely not! Aide and abet - you betcha!
Sam,
nice to know that you're free enough to get in touch with your feminine side. But it sounds like that you need some help with your styling and wardrobe. There are some nice female impersonators who would be very happy to help you with your ensemble.
another thought.
Isn't there an old saying somewhere that goes----
In Tequila is truth?
Miss Manners seems to be slightly off her moniker, I'm afraid.
Hey Sam:
Did your tater have a name - you know like " Dick Tater"?
(Sometimes I just crack myself up)
Pun lover:
That's hysterical.
Forsooth!
Wish I had thought of that!
I'll have to work it into my new play:
Eggsn' hamlet
"The gals got me a little tipsy on tequila"???????
What did they do? Pour it down your throat?
c'mon.
Imi Tater.
Lack Tater.
Pa Tater.
Termi Tater. (I had to)
It ... the tater ... was ...
I Da Ho.
My sister was a 'ho'
What did Delaware?
Idaho
Alaska
Irony abounds!
A blog post musing on the ethical import of choices and actions has devolved entirely into this?
Ay caramba!
While all very true, I thought it was more of a setup to disseminate whether a padded bra would net me more offers. Especially at my age.
My ladye Warbler,
Thou art more beauteous than beauty itself.
The rose looks fair, but fairer we it deem
For that sweet fragrance which doth in it live.
Translation:
You don't need the gimmicks.
You radiate beauty.
Mom? Is that you, Mom?
I must admit that many of us men are clumsey as Falstaff, not eloquent, and somewhat besotted with spirits and power and potatoes in their pants. As in my favorite play, 'Midsummer Night's Dream,' sometimes we truly do appear an Ass.
But a real woman, she needs no such things to enhance her other than her plain self, her attention, her smile, and her laugh. That is what makes the angels dance and the world sing in pure harmony, dear.
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