Thin Line Between Love and Hate

Please don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because I concocted this one:

A long time ago in a kingdom so fa r away it didn't even exist, there lived the King of Narrow Vision. Narrow Vision, of course being the name of the realm, because when the Royal Surveyor was brought forth by the King's forefathers and shown the prospective site of their castle, he commented how the valley and copses of trees conspired to "narrow the vision" of such a beautiful land.

Now, kingdoms being what they are and politics being what they are, eventually a grassroots effort began to 'widen the vista'. These people, soon known only as The Wides, were good citizens all. They felt very strongly that a little pruning, some artful topiary and, perhaps a little blasting here and there to widen the road, would lead to greater tourism, commerce and trade.

But the King, being of a long line of Narrow Visionists, felt that what had been good enough for his ancestors ought to be good enough for his people. He ignored the letters and petitions. He refused The Wides the opportunity to make an official presentation. Every avenue to the King's ears were closed to The Wides until they felt they had no choice but to organize a peaceful march to the castle where they would firmly, but politely, demand to be given audience. (Later, this became known as The Mile Wide March, but you know that from your history books.)

Unbeknownst to the majority of Wide-ers, there was a small faction that had splintered off from the main Wides and called themselves the Wide Spans - no one really knows why. This radical cell believed that violence, and ultimately regicide, could be the only true answer.

True to form, however, there was one Wide Span who had a change of heart. (Truth be told, he never actually believed in their cause, he just joined to impress Gruenelda Applethorn who eventually left the group because her mother said she didn't like the looks of 'em.) This young man felt that he ought to do the right thing and perhaps be able to impress Mrs. Applethorn who might put in a good word for him.

Now it happened that a few days before the Mile Wide March was to take place that the young hero espied the King's litter being carried through the streets. He knew he had only moments to deliver his warning before he would be whisked away by the King's Guard (also known as The Narrow Straights), so he followed the entourage closely, waiting for opportunity. The moment appeared in the form of the King stepping from his litter to ascend the steps of the Public Library (whose knowledge was Wide, but their selection was Narrow). The young man jostled and crawled until he was close enough for the King to hear.

"Oh, King, wilt thou not hear me?" he cried.

The King stopped and searched the faces. "Who calls me from this throng," he boomed. "Tell me what you will."

"Beware," the man began as the Narrow Straights located him and began to escort him in the other direction. He must deliver his warning! "Beware, oh King, the Wides that March!"


Now that's entertainment!